Why The Palm Beach Post Sucks: YODA SAYS EAT DOG NOT PIG

PALM BEACH COUNTY TO CONSIDER ALLOWING MORE PORK IN THE COMMUNITY

Fun Friday Pig Out

On Friday, April 27^th 2012, a report by Jennifer Sorentrue, a staff writer for the Palm Beach Post, said that the Palm Beach County Commission was considering allowing potbellied pigs to be kept as pets. She wrote;

“The request came at the urging of suburban Delray Beach resident Jennifer San Filippo, who feared she might lose her 80-pound pig, Yoda, after someone complained to the county’s code enforcement office”.

Several commissioners questioned the proposed rule change. Commissioner Karen Marcus was concerned that residents might be less likely to adopt dogs and cats from the overcrowded county animal shelters if pigs are allowed as pets.

The editors of “Why The Palm Beach Post Sucks” sent a crack team to investigate the pig dilemma. Our team was lead by animal psychic and pig psychologist, Dr. Gordo Grunter, who went to Delray to interview Yoda the pig by means of telepathic communication.

Animal Psychic, Dr. Gordo Grunter: “Yoda, how do you feel about being kept as a pet pig instead of becoming bacon?”

Yoda: “Smarter than dogs, we are. Tastier than pigs, dogs are by far.”

Gordo: “Are you saying that America should follow president Obama’s lead and eat dogs? Are you saying that we should keep pigs as pets and eat our dogs?”

Yoda: “Eat dogs you must!”

Gordo: “You might have a point, Obama said Pit Bulls are delicious and the county has an abundance of homeless pets, we should eat them. Moreover, in November of 2011, Obama signed a law to allow the slaughter of horses for human consumption by Americans, that might solve the problem of abandoned horses.”

Yoda: “Eating pork, Islam says don’t, eating horse a hungry Muslim might.”

A HORSE LOVERS FAVORITE: HORSE HEAD SOUP

Gordo: “Is this “man eat dog campaign” just a ploy by pigs world wide, a vast sus scrofa, swine conspiracy to keep people from eating pigs?”

Yoda: “Sharia Law, we support, no pork sausage; try some boiled mutt.”

Gordo: “Maybe you are on to something! With a good add campaign and the support of Barrack and Michelle, dogs might become an acceptable healthy food source, especially in the public school cafeteria’s.”

Yoda: “Tasty dogs are, better than pigs by far.”

Gordo: “If dogs are good enough for the president of the United States, I guess they are good enough for people worldwide! I’ll report your point of view to my boss. Thanks for your time, Mr. Yoda.”

Yoda: “May the horse be with you, and some canine pie.

After evaluating the findings of our investigative reporters and Dr. Gordo Grunter, and after careful consideration, the editorial board of “THE PALM BEACH POST SUCKS” recommends that the county commissioners allow potbellied pigs as pets and to allow county residents and restaurants to serve dog and horse meat as a substitute for pork. All animal shelters should be encouraged to sell live dogs in order to supply the community with fresh dog meat. This proposal will solve the problem of overcrowded animal shelters and provide Palm Beach residents with healthy delicious meals at a low cost.

OBAMA SUPPORTER SHOPPING AT THE D.C. ANIMAL SHELTER