You Might be a Democrat

FUN FRIDAY

YOU MIGHT BE A DEMOCRAT

If you think that the definition of free market enterprise is when you and your friends organize a flash mob to loot the local 7/11 store, you might be a Democrat.

If you think America is comprised of 57 states, you are a Democrat!

When asked what churches do you attend you respond. “I prefer KFC, you might be a Democrat.

If your stretch limo accidentally backs over crushing your smart car, you might be a Democrat.

If you fly aboard your private Gulf stream II to the Global Warming Conference, you are a Democrat.

If after attending the Green Peace conference concerning the alarmingly high concentration of mercury being found in marine life, you return home to your twenty thousand square foot mansion and switch on 1,000 mercury filled curly cue light bulbs, you might be a Democrat.

If any written or spoken conservative thought sounds like propaganda to you, you might be a Democrat.

If you can watch Bill Maher or Jon Stewart for more than ten minutes without dozing off or being grossed out, your either a seventh grader or you might be a Democrat.

             When you can no longer stack your unpaid credit card bills on the floor because they have hit the ceiling and a light bulb goes off in your head causing you to exclaim, “So that’s the debt ceiling!” You might be a Democrat.   

A Democrat, a Republican and an Independent

            At a recent college graduation ceremony in Chicago, three female grads were asked about their future plans.

Rebecca the Republican: “I’m going to use my engineering degree to integrate green energy sources such as solar, wind, hydro and clean fossil fuels, into the national power grids. I will provide tens of thousands of people with good paying jobs, and yes I’m not afraid to admit, make a ton of money.”

Ida the Independent: “ Ha, I hope to earn a ton of money also. I plan on helping cure worldwide hunger with my degree in the Agra-sciences, employ tens of thousands of people with good paying jobs and eradicate world hunger”.

Reporter: “Wow, these are very ambitious goals. Now, how about you Miss?”

Donna the Democrat: “Well I plan on going into public service. I will help unionize all those two’s workers. Use the EPA to regulate the hell out of them and make sure nothing they do causes harm to even one snail.

 I will push Ida to convert millions of tons of that food into bio-fuel and I damn well wont let Rebecca drill any fossil fuel in this country. In the process I will force hundreds of thousands of jobs overseas, thus saving our environment and in the process I will make two tons of money!”

Donna

Twenty years later, Donna the community organizer arrives home in a very affluent neighborhood and parks her BMW. She traverses the Mexican tile pathway and enters the front door. Inside she flips a switch illuminating the mercury filled light bulbs, which were made in the Philippines.

Stopping at the wet bar, she mixes a Russian vodka martini and turns on a large flat screen LG TV made in Korea. Turning up the volume of the surround sound system, which was made in Japan, she tunes into the BBC network as she removes her Italian made jacket. Hearing that the riots in London have subsided, she turns on her Toshiba computer and logs into Virgin Airways web site to make reservations for her upcoming trip abroad.

In the kitchen she opens the door to the GE refrigerator which was made in Mexico, pushes aside a six pack of Heineken beer and removes a bunch of Chilean grapes which she places on a platter beside French cheese and imported middle eastern flat breads.

 The phone rings and she answers the call speaking into the handset, which was made in Taiwan. After she finishes plotting with the Chicago union boss whose workers are on strike, she hangs up then grabs her Japanese camera and snaps a picture of her French Poodle sitting on the Persian rug.

            A report concerning the bad economy and the high unemployment rate catches her attention. The reporter mentions that American businesses are sitting on capital, not hiring, fearful of Obama care and government regulation and the uncertainty in the tax code.

            “Screw those selfish corporate pigs!” she screams at the screen as the little poodle cowers behind the sofa.

Rebecca

That same afternoon, two counties over in a more modest part of the state, Rebecca the Republican pauses in front of the framed cover of Popular Science hanging on the wall in her small suburban home. The June 1999 issue shows her smiling face, ten years younger. The photo on the cover is captioned; Young Entrepreneur May Have Solution to America’s Energy Crises. She sadly looks away and then picks up the phone to call her lawyer.

“Hi Phil, do we have any lawsuits against us from the EPA, Sierra Club, Green Peace, PETA, the Warmers or any of those other groups still active?”

“No Becky, the slate is finally clean.”

“Oh thank God Phil, I really need to sell this house before I get foreclosed on.”

IDA

         The sun is just rising in Somalia as Ida and two volunteers begin to dig a water well with hand shovels. Her once acclaimed company Food For Famine, which supplied ten tons of food monthly to third world countries, now only a fond memory. The FDA closed her down and fined her out of existence after a shipment to Africa was improperly handled by local government officials and caused an illness to six people.

“We need to hit water before sunset, Muhammad. The new seedlings need to be irrigated tonight.”

“We can do it, Miss.”

Ogden Nash: “I do not like to get the news because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.”

I agree.

Oh! Before I forget; The Palm Beach Post Still Sucks!

RANDY SCHULTZ A ONE TRICK PONY

RANDY SCHULTZ A ONE TRICK PONY

8/9/2011 Randy Schultz, editor of the Palm Beach Post, published an editorial entitled Give us a AAA government. His main point seemed to be that Fridays downgrade was as much a downgrade of the U.S. government as it was of America’s enormous debt. I agree.

I also agree with his comment “ Meanwhile, Washington remains focused on dodging blame. Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., referred to the “tea party downgrade” citing the intransigence of some House Republicans”.

Am I the only one who noticed that more Democrats (95) voted against the raising of the debt ceiling than Republicans (66)? Regardless the reason, aren’t all these Democrats intransigent, terrorist allies of the Republican tea baggers?

So Kerry blames the Republicans, who have only had control of one branch of government for seven months, and not the Democrats who had a two-year monopoly including a 60-vote super Senate majority. It was during those two years that the Democrats forced open the throats of the American people and rammed Obama care down our unwilling gullets, in the process killing any hope of private business adding jobs and thus resulting in the stifling of the American economy. Then came the appointment of a legion of unelected czars and the attacks on the Chamber of Commerce and the demands and regulations aimed at the business community. Geniuses like Schultz no doubt wonder, Where are the jobs? Evidence of this is his conclusion that the economy is a needless casualty of the gridlock. The gridlock is due to people with functioning brain cells attempting to stop the insanity of a mindless horde of anti-capitalist, progressive elites in Washington who are cheered on by a corrupt mass media.

Schultz continues by asking, “Lets review the past eight months”. Oh, how convenient; that’s when the republicans gained a small foothold of power for the first time in two years! Later he states “Washington is a creation of the electorate, which for the most part tells the parties to dig in and never yield”.

Duh! Mr. Schultz, that’s why our form of government is called constitutional republic, we send citizens to represent us in Congress. Congress better damn well do what the people they represent want or they will have short service. The freshman Republicans were sent to Washington in order to derail the Democrat, Obama bankruptcy train.

A consistent common thread in Mr. Schultz’s editorials always seems to be the same conclusion, blame and disdain of the American people. He says, “That downgrade of our political system includes the voters.”

Sadly, this time I must agree but I believe that the reason American voters in recent history have made poor choices comes from complacency, yes, but mostly from an onslaught of distorted and biased misinformation espoused by an ill willed propaganda media machine.

After the 2008 election, I recall two of Americas most prominent news anchors pondering Obama. To paraphrase, they asked the question; what do we really know about this new young president? Who is he really? They asked us! Wasn’t that their jobs!

America knew what the Republican vice presidential candidate wrote in seventh grade English class. An army of fair and balanced journalists (lol) descended like flies upon a rotting carcass and attempted to portray her as a clown. Sarah Pallin was torn to shreds by these truth seeking (lol) professional (lol) journalists, as they concentrated on learning everything about her and her family including the children, yet they knew nothing of the President elect other than he wrote an autobiography and voted present a hundred times as a senator! Or did they really know much more that they did not want us ignorant voters to learn. I recall people being accused of dirty tricks for mentioning candidate Obama’s middle name. God forbid you question his ties to Rev. Wright, Ayers or any number of radicals that he himself admitted to seeking out in his college years.

Hopefully our country, as we know it, will survive four years of the Obama, elite media and leftist Democrat juggernaut as it continues to mangle our economy.

So in the mean time I anticipate more shallow, disingenuous and sophomoric analysis to appear on the pages of the Palm Beach Post. The one trick pony, Mr. Schultz, will undoubtedly come to the same conclusion concerning any problem facing America; the cause is the stupidity of the American people.

That’s why the Palm Beach Post sucks!