FUN ON FRIDAY
WHY WOULD A HERMIT GO ON FACEBOOK?
My daughter Raegy and her friend Kris returned home after four months of WWOOFING in Europe. WWOOF stands for World Wide Organization of Organic Farmers. Apparently some people, Wwoofers, voluntarily go to work camps where they are forced to do hard labor for free. Possibly Wwoofers are masochists, I have not figured this out yet. I do know they desire to experience foreign cultures and learn about organic farming.
The Wwoofers are provided with food, shelter and the experience of being immersed in the local culture in exchange for their labor. Raegan and Kris brought home interesting stories and experiences that will be remembered and recounted for a lifetime. They stayed in various places ranging from luxury hotels to crude farm shacks and tents. They did all kinds of work from splitting wooden rails with crude hand tools to herding animals, making cheese, riding horses across the French countryside and tending beautiful gardens and vineyards.
In between WWOOF sites, they did couch surfing. Apparently, this involves staying at a generous stranger’s home and mooching off them until they kick you out. This is a very low cost way to tour, if you don’t mind the work and getting kicked out.
We stayed in touch by Skype and e-mail and when I started this blog they were able to see what kind of trouble I was stirring up back in the United States. Kris, who is a bit of an Internet expert, was some how able to get me to go on Facebook. Even though I explained that I’m a hermit and don’t enjoy a lot of socializing, he convinced me that if I want to be a member of the 21st Century; Facebook would be very beneficial. When I raised concerns about identity theft he eased my fears by exclaiming; who the hell would want to be you? Good Point. So now that I’m on Facebook, my daughter has some concerns and wants to interview me about that.
Raegan: Do you mind answering some questions? Some of your Facebook comments
are odd to say the least.
Me: Really? Like what?
Q: Like your hobby. What is air sculpting?
A: I’ll show you.
Q: You’re just moving your arms around in the air!
A: No. I’m air sculpting. I just made a bust of you.
Q: How weird! You said that your favorite movie was the comedy An Inconvenient Truth. Do you really think Al Gore thinks global warming is a joke?
A: Well the Warmers sure make me laugh. I believe Al Gore is laughing all the way to the bank. People are making a fortune off that hoax. Check out , http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5576670191369613647
Q: You said your favorite actor is Barrack Obama. You do know he is president, right?
A: Of course, but no one in Hollywood can read a teleprompter or cue cards like Obama, he has no peers. The problem comes when the darn thing malfunctions, then he doesn’t have a clue about what he was just saying. Funny as hell!
Q: You commented that you would like to see Obama star in an unanimated remake of the Disney film Dumbo, was that just a cheap shot, poking fun at his large ears?
A: No. I wouldn’t stoop so low. I was making reference to his economic I.Q.
Q: O.K. I don’t’ like that. Let’s move on. Now do you expect us to believe that your favorite sport is synchronized swimming?
A: Well not as a spectator as a participant. I love wearing the rubber cap and I've been told that the little thing that pinches my nose shut makes my face look skinny. Plus, it’s a good workout.
Q: Are you mocking Facebook?
A: No, I would love the entire world to know everything about me. I’m very interesting don’t you agree?
Q: I think you just answered my next question which is why do you have so many nicknames? Why did you list Stupid, Jackass, Moron and Idiot as nicknames?
A: Well many of my friends and relatives are liberal Democrats so those names are used to address me more than by Ed or Eddie or my most common nickname, Rocky. I’m used to it.
Q: That’s just sad. What would you say is the most fascinating thing in life that you have experienced.
A: I would have to say how when you multiply two negative numbers, you get a positive number. That’s amazing. I’ve spent hours using different numbers to see if I might get a negative result.
Q: I can’t wait to hear your next answer. Fill in the blank. People think I’m crazy when I what?
A: Yes, that’s true.
Q: No, you’re supposed to replace what with your answer!
A: Oh, O.K. People think I’m crazy when I air sculpt.
Q: Oh my god. I don’t know if I can continue. You know that a lot of people might read this right?
A: Hopefully, that’s what Facebook is all about, right?
Q: Well Kris and I had a great time in Europe. Where would you like to visit?
A: Anywhere south of the equator.
Q: Why the southern hemisphere?
A: I always wanted to see water go down the drain in a clockwise direction.
Q: That’s it I’m outta here. You better not print this crap! 
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