JOE SCARBOROUGH REVEALS RACISM!

JOE SCARBOROUGH EXPOSED AS RACIST!

           A study of history reveals that the Democrat party has promoted segregation and slavery in the United States. Textbooks refer to the plantation owners and the KKK as mostly southerners and this is true. The books omit the fact that these southerners were 100% Democrats. The Republican Party with leaders such as Lincoln and Eisenhower defeated the bigots such as Al Gores senator father and the Southern Democrat Congressmen. Today the Democrat party uses a more subtle and insidious form of slavery to control minority groups. They conduct high tech lynching of blacks that wander off the plantation of liberal politics. Democrats succeed in projecting their own racism onto opponents, vilifying Republicans and Independents as anti-minority. They succeed in this distortion due to the activist, leftists who dominate the mainstream media.

November 2^nd 2011, on the cable network MSNBC, host of the Morning Joe Show, Pan Handle, Alabama Joe Scarborough once again launched into an extended, vile, character and intellectual assassination attack on front-running Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain. The RINO (Republican in name only) Joe Scarborough along with his panel of leftist minions took turns, figuratively, dragging Cain around by the neck as the lynch mob became even more and more riled up by their own hateful rhetoric.

            Last week Mika Brzezinski led the little group of anathematic bigots in their disturbing irrational ranting against Cain. Today host Joe Scarborough led the charge at one point calling the man a complete idiot.

            The 66-year-old Cain has been charged with two counts of committing sexual harassment 12 years ago. One accusation involves Cain comparing the victim’s height to that of his wife. WTF? The MSNBC panel discussed these incidents with Joe accusing Cain of lying and attempting to cover-up because Cain did not immediately admit to being involved in a settlement. Scarborough, an attorney obviously knows the difference between a legal settlement and a severance pay agreement granted to a possibly disgruntled and vertically challenged employee. Cain may have done wrong, but no one yet knows. The accusers have not even been identified let alone any details of the alleged incidents known. No matter to the bigot Scarborough, the case is closed.

Later, MSNBC played a video clip of Cain speaking on PBS where Cain stated his concern about China “ gaining nuclear capability”. This statement is fine with me because I’m aware of China’s numerous, failed, missile launches and apparent inability at this time to deliver a nuclear payload. I believe Cain is aware of Chinas nuclear technology and fearful of them gaining nuclear military capability as evidenced when in the same statement he raised concerns about them gaining modern aircraft carriers. A mental midget like Joe Scarborough is intellectually unable to understand such nuances.

 At 8:04am EST Joe Scarborough misquoted Cain’s statement and replaced the word capability with the word technology to make it seem that Cain really was unaware that China possess nuclear technology. Scarborough repeated this misquote again later even as at 8:07 am EST Top Talker Printed an accurate quote of Cain just to the lower left of the screen.

To help Joe understand, I offer an analogy. Joe, if we gave computers to tribal Taliban leaders living in caves and tents devoid of electrical power they would have computer technology without a capability to use them. Someone then might fear that they could gain computer training and a power source to use the computers for cyber attacks. They then would have computer Internet capability. It’s a little complicated Joe but if you and Mika combine your mental capacities I think you can grasp this concept.     

            We currently have a President who has never had any foreign policy experience and worse yet has never had a day of business experience. Obama, the Ivy League, community organizer was and still is protected by the mainstream media with the ardor of a mother grizzly protecting her cub. Publications such as the discredited Palm Beach Post ignore the numerous and mounting Obama Administration scandals. Bernie Goldberg calls the medias adoration of Obama as a “Slobbering Love Affair”.

The business community including the late Steve Jobs has recognized Obama and his administration as the greatest threat to American business and American jobs. Obama is the idiot, Joe; he has depleted our treasury with the failed stimulus, worthless green projects, pay offs to political allies and the amassing of his billion-dollar campaign slush fund.

 Forget about foreign policy, Obama did not even know that the United States, the country that he leads is comprised of 50 states not the 57 states that he claimed to have visited! The gaffs of Obama, made over three years in office, could be made into a feature length documentary film. Few Americans are aware of even one due to the coddling protective Democrat media.

This brings us to the recent allegations of sexual harassment against Cain. I cannot turn on a radio or TV without hearing the latest take on this story. After Bill Clinton survived two terms, one would think that sexual harassment charges against public servants as mute.

Clinton faced a string of accusations involving sexual misconduct and even rape! The pattern of misbehavior took place over many years. A short list of Clinton’s victims and partners include Christy Zercher, Elizabeth Gracen, Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey, Monica Lewinsky, Nancy Hernreich, Susan McDougal, Debra Schiff, Sherrie Densuk, Marsha Scott, and Dolly Browning. The Democrat media helped Clinton portray his victims as “nuts and sluts”.  Clinton pointed his finger at the American people and swore “I never had sex with that women…” Only after Clintons DNA was found on Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress was the media forced to report unbiased facts in the case. The far left and much of the Democrat media remained entrenched and unmoved in support of Clinton. I remember prominent leftists and feminists stating (to paraphrase) “Clinton deserves a free grope” and “I would give the President a hummer”! Even today, Lady goes GaGa over the paunchy, aging misogynist. Rather than a disgrace to the Democrat Party, the lying, lecher, impeached, felon perjurer, former president; Clinton parades around the world accepted as an honored statesman and man of great international stature. As an Independent, I’m still amazed that any honorable American citizen would admit to being a registered Democrat!

            A new poll was released today and Herman Cain has jumped up to 30% among Republican voters; Wow, what bigots! In response to the lynching of the man, I personally have promoted Cain from VP to the top of my ticket.

We conservatives need to form a modern day underground railroad to help black and other minority conservatives escape from the liberal, white, elitist media, Democrat, political plantation. The Democrat Uncle Tom bosses; Obama, Holder, Waters and Sharpton must be replaced by free thinkers like Cain, Clarence Thomas and Allen West. Conservative minorities should have the same freedoms of speech and beliefs that are granted to liberal minorities and to whites. The Constitution gives everyone the freedom of expression without fear of being lynched by the Democrats and others on the left.

Shame on you Joe. You may have avoided being corrupted by your stint in Congress, but you were obviously no match for the seductive, siren song of acceptance among the Washington elites and the vile people who populate the halls of MSNBC. Stop misquoting and lying about Herman Cain.

Joe, you Mika and The Palm Beach Post Suck!  

PS:

       11/03/2011

           Today Joe and Mika continued mocking Herman Cain. Mika's father appeared on the show and at 7:26am EST time told Joe and Mika that Cain was correct in his analysis that China lacked launch capability. The Butt Head look alike, Joe still apparently cannot comprehend; capability does not mean  technology and quickly changed the subject. Zbigniew Brzezinski basically confirmed what I wrote about in the above post, Herman Cain is correct. Joe and Mika simply look stupid.

A CHRISTMAS GIFT FROM THE MESSIAH

OBAMA’S WASTE OF TAX DOLLARS MAKES ME DIZZY!

OMG! WTF?

            The State Department bought $70,000 dollars worth of the decade old Obama biography, “Dreams from My Father”! Why you ask? Well to give out as Christmas gifts and stock up public libraries of course! Yes this is Fun Friday, but I’m not joking.

Similar book sale scams have made Obama a multi-millionaire with unions, corporations and large donors buying his book by the thousands. One would think that our generous millionaire President sitting on a billion dollar campaign slush fund would donate his books, isn’t that what a gift is? Even a piddling $70,000 is too much for this greedy man to pass up. You, the take payer have paid Obama for his generous gift to society! Could we expect anything less, a liberal’s definition of charity is when they give away someone else’s hard-earned money.

Once again the taxpayer is shafted by being forced to pay their own President for his book to be given as a gift to all the eager recipients. Surely visions of sugarplums dance in our vacuous heads! How did we elect this man! I feel dizzy!

 Pay for your propaganda dump with your own money Mr. Obama!

The reports of the Obama Administrations corrupt and wasteful activities are raining down so fast and furious that I can’t even keep track of it all! My head is spinning! By the time I pick up a report on one scandal, three more surface. Like baitfish swimming in a circular ball most of the turpitude will go unnoticed, untouched due to the utter magnitude of the pernicious activities. Of course most of the corruption is not reported in the Democrat mainstream media. That’s Why The Palm Beach Post Sucks! They protect the Messiah, their leader Obama. Open-minded, intelligent, truth seeking citizens can find this information with a bit of effort and hopefully will not let this veiled corruption stand.

 Obama’s administration is chalk full of rich, white, elites from academia, mega corporations and Wall Street. (See my previous blog “Wall Street Crooks Occupy 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.”  The Occupiers obviously don’t have a clue about this or they would mass outside of the White House. If Bush still lived there and the Republicans controlled the obstructionist Senate, union organizers and George Soros would have organized the useful idiots in D.C. not on Wall Street. Of this, I have no doubt!

The insidious extent and reach of the Federal Government’s tentacles into the fabric of American society is easy to find. Fannie, Freddie, Sallie Mae, the green industry farce and big union payoffs disguised as an auto industry rescue plan to name a few. Big government meddling can be traced to the root of nearly each issue or concern to the Occupiers. Both Parties are to blame but only one party espouses even larger government and more meddling; the Democrat Party.

 Much of the current social injustice, inequities and failed economy can easily be traced back to big government interfering in the private sector economy. The already gargantuan government is now our largest growing industry and employer as the corruption reaches a pinnacle. Do the Occupiers even know where government money comes from? Is it possible they don’t’ know that it’s their money and futures being wasted and currently being used to buy political power for the left as Obama campaigns and fund raises daily, touring in his giant million dollar Canadian built buses?

Bam, bam, bam, bam, and bam; scandals come out of the Justice Department, the State Department, HUD, the Energy Department and the EPA daily.  To those who pay attention, scandals and reports of waste, fraud and mismanagement fly in our face constantly! The Fast and Furious, Solyndra, Fisker, Black Panther Voter Intimidation, persecution of political opponents like Gibson Guitar and favoritism of ally corporations as government picks winners and losers rather than the free market forces.

We are the 53%! We carry the load, do the work and pay taxes while the 48% who pay no taxes demand more entitlements and rail against the 1%; the idle mega rich.  Ironically elements of the 1%, George Soros et. al., use the non-tax paying useful idiots to increase their personal wealth and entrench their power as they further erode the shrinking middle class. They pull up the ladder of opportunity behind them, the chance for anyone to climb to the top is being removed. Once the 51% middle class is forced into government dependency, we will have a Cuban style society of the elites ruling the masses, everyone equally poor with little hope of economic or social escape. How’s that hope and change going for you?

Since nothing I have discussed here will be found in the pages of the Palm Beach Post; THE PALM BEACH POST SUCKS!

P.S.

Obama has just revealed the existence of military, attack, drone bases in Ethiopia, Africa. Attacks are being launched across the continent apparently with out Congressional approval. Three years into Obama’s rule, we have fought in Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya at enormous cost. I believe Obama is the most hawkish and corrupt president in my lifetime. I wonder, where is Code Pink?

John F. Kennedy:   “Communism has never come to power in a country that was not disrupted by war or corruption, or both.”

America, we have it all!

MIKA BRZEZINSKI'S RACISM EXPOSED

Mika Brzezinski’s Racism is Exposed on MSNBC

         Friday morning 10/21/2011 on MSNBC’s Morning Joe Show, a panel of leftist elites and the RINO host Republican Joe Scarborough launched an extended attack on Republican Presidential candidate Herman Cain. The panel of left wing Democrats included Carl Bernstein, Katy Kay, John Hielman, and Mike Barnacle. The counter voice to this hoard of leftist elites was Republican, Joe Scarborough (LOL)!

After what seemed to be a full 30 minutes of Cain bashing with each liberal, white, elite having a turn at demeaning and ridiculing, Mika Brzezinski asked the question “Why are we even paying attention to him?”

In a recent poll, Herman Cain is leading all Republican candidates with 35% of likely voters. Mika would ignore the man who at this moment would be Barack Obama’s opponent in the 2012 presidential election! That’s incredible! Did Mika advocate ignoring Romney, Bachman or Perry; all who have at one time led the Republican field? No! Of course they did criticized those conservative Republicans, but never blew them off as not even worthy of consideration. Could the difference be that Cain is not only conservative but is an anathema, a conservative black man? If not that, then what?

In my opinion, Herman Cain’s resume and accomplishments are outstanding! I’m awestruck by this mans optimism and good humor in the face of the media elites mounting attacks. His superior intelligence is proved by how much he has accomplished in his life, even while growing up poor in the Deep South under the oppression of forced segregation. Once again the deck is stacked against Cain and his chance of becoming president are surely slim in the face of the white, elite, plantation bosses attacks from both the Democrat and Republican elites. But Joe, I wouldn’t bet against Herman Cain.

Cain tells a story about an experience as a young boy when he and his little brother snuck a sip from the “Whites Only” water fountain in a department store basement. In amazement he exclaiming to little brother “It taste just like our water!”

Look at what this man has achieved since that day. Now contrast the talking head Mika, who was born rich and white in 1967; an over privileged child of powerful rich white Northeast elitists in an era post racial segregation. To see this snobby, giggling, woman squirming in her seat in delight as she brushes her short, blonde, stylish hair behind her ear while mocking a man of Cain’s stature was nearly nauseating. While Cain struggled through out life to become a success, I can visualize Mika frolicking down a path on flowered covered hills singing tunes from the film The Sounds of Music. Would you not hire the daughter of Brzezinski? The onslaught continued as the rest of the despicable Morning Joe crowd took turns belittling Cain.

Mika has told stories of being held hostage in a walled mansion in France by a wealthy friend or relative of her father. Daddy was a wealthy political giant, a member of Jimmy Carters administration. Other than that dreadful hostage experience, her greatest hardship in life probably was waiting more than ten minutes for an open tennis court at the family’s country club.

Herman Cain is not the first or only African American to receive such treatment by white elites. A few of my favorites victims are, Clarence Thomas, Bill Cosby, Allen West, Prof. Thomas Sowell and Walt Williams, Star Parker, Juan Williams, Angela McGlowan and J.C. Watts, the list of Uncle Tom’s is long. These are the African Americans who have jumped the plantations fence and have left the white, liberal, elites plantation of control, oppression and designed dependency.

The real Uncle Toms are the likes of the leaders of the NAACP, Al Sharpton, Van Jones, Maxine Waters, Charles Rangel, etc. etc. etc., who from the porch of the mansion, rule the workers in the field (the black vote). The current housemaster is Obama who rules at the pleasure of the rich, white, liberal plantation owners, Democrats and Republicans alike; the powerful in politics and the media. As long as the Blackman helps the elite classes control and oppress the little people of the world, they are welcome at the table. The runaway blacks such as Herman Cain must be must be whipped, destroyed or at least ignored by the controlling elites and never allowed to lead others off the liberal estate.

Surely the Palinization of Cain will continue in the media and the odds say he will not become the next president. But I have great respect for Herman Cain’s accomplishments and will not stand idle as the likes of Mika Brzezinski and the other Morning Joe low life commit character assassination on the man.  

Shirley Chisholm:  “Racism keeps people who are being managed from finding out the truth through contact with each other.”

No wonder Mika does not want to pay attention to what Herman Cain has to say.

WALL STREET CROOKS OCCUPY 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVE

LOOKING FOR WALL STREET CROOKS? CHECK INSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE!

            Hey Wall Street occupiers, are you looking for banker robber barons? Go to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The crooks you are looking for are in the White House with President Barack Obama. Let me give you some history.

Early into his first term, in March of 2009, the Obama Administration devised a scam to pay hedge funds hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to buy up the financial institutions and banks toxic assets. These assets were the same subprime garbage that Fannie and Freddie were forced to issue to unqualified borrowers by Congressional, Senatorial Oversight pressure spearheaded by Barney Frank and Chris Dodd. To make matters worse, as part of the grand scam, the Financial Accounting Standards Board changed existing accounting rules to allow the banks to inflate the value of these toxic assets that were then bought with public tax dollars by the hedge funds.

MORE TAX DOLLARS DOWN THE GOVERNMENT TOILET

Financial disclosures at that time revealed that Lawrence Summers, Obama’s top economic advisor, was paid $5 million dollars as director of D.E. Shaw, a giant hedge fund, and he then proceeded to rack up an additional $2.5 million dollars in fees by giving speeches to Lehman Brothers, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase and Citigroup all Wall Street firms that received taxpayer bailout funds! Lawrence Summers has always been a leading advocate of deregulating the banking institutions and did institute deregulation as Treasury Secretary under Bill Clinton in the mid 1990’s.

During the 2008 presidential election campaign, Barack Obama received vastly more political campaign contributions from Wall Street than did any other candidate. Hedge funds and equity firms gave Obama nearly $3 million 60% more than to other candidate. On a Senate salary, the one term Senator became a multi-millionaire before the conclusion of his first term as president!

The list of Wall Street fat cats in the Obama administration only begins with Summers.

Timothy Geithner was nominated as Treasury Secretary on November 24, 2009. Before that he was President Of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, and worked at the IMF. The financial expert Geithner, the Treasury Secretary, was caught underpaying his taxes by $43,000!

 David Axelrod a senior advisor to Obama and campaign administrator claimed assets of up to $10 million and received $1.5 million in 2008 from two consulting firms he owned. He later agreed to buyouts of the firms that payed him an additional $3 million.

Timothy Giethner’s mentor, Robert Rubin was co-chairman of Goldman Sachs.

Michael Froman was Obama’s Deputy Security Advisor for Economic Affairs. He left Wall Street in 2009 to join Obama and received $2.25 million in bonuses before leaving. For the entire year 2008, Mr. Froman received $7.4 million from Citigroup! Shortly after arriving at the White House Citigroup got a $45 billion in cash and an additional $300 billion in government guarantees!

Thomas Donilon was paid nearly $4 million by a law firm whose clients were Goldman Sachs and Citigroup then become Obama’s National Security Advisor.

Louis Caldera made $227,000 while collapsing Indy Mac Bancorp in California by issuing subprime mortgages and then was further rewarded by being hired by Obama as Director of the White House Military Office. The taxpayers bailed out Indy Mac.

David Stevens was a top executive at Freddie Mac, which was bailed out by taxpayers. He was rewarded by being appointed to head Obama’s F.H.A.

Could Herman Cain be correct in his conclusion as stated on Meet The Press Sunday that he believes this Administration is trying to destroy America economically?

If the mob occupying Wall Street wants to protest banking and corporate greed, march on 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. If your issue is student loan debt, you should march on the Universities that hold your money. If you lost your home, camp outside Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae and Congress or better yet, Barney Franks house. If you think huge federal government sucks our freedom and wealth down a rat hole then vote for a businessperson such as Herman Cain. If you’re sick of war, even as Obama invades yet another country (Uganda) with out Congressional approval, and launch drone attacks across the globe, get off your trash pile and head to Washington, D.C.

The reason that the public does not know about the most corrupt administration in our history is death of the national news media. We now have only an American version of Pravda.

That’s why the Palm Beach Post Sucks!

Elbert Hubbard: 

 “EDITOR:   A person employed on a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.”

BUSTED ON WALL STREET!

EDDIE BUSTED ON WALL STREET

FUN FRIDAY REPORT

            I went up to Wall Street to join the occupiers and ended up in the clink! We were having fun tubbing in the park with some rednecks from West Virginia until some old hillbilly was killed when his tub flipped.

 My problems started when I joined a group of fellow intellectuals marching down to the New York Stock Exchange. We took turns riding the bronze bull outside the exchange while chanting Rick Santelli’s a tea bagging rich bastard! We tried to tip the bull over but our union organizers couldn’t get all the people to push from the same side. It was confusing and we all got exhausted pushing against each other, only managing to rock the bull back and forth. I was one of the last to collapse to the ground winded.

            The police arrived but we escaped by running back to the park. I sat down under a shade tree to rest and began eating a lunch provided by George Soros and Media Matters. In the middle of my meal, while I changed the batteries in my M3 player, the Pigs grabbed me and handcuffed me!

“Why are you arresting me? I’m simply eating lunch and replacing batteries.” I asked.

“That’s the problem Punk! You’re charged with assault and battery!”

            

THE SCAM OF HIGHER EDUCATION

THE HEAVY PRICE OF SOCIALISM

            The Wall Street protesters provide us with a glimpse into America’s future; thousands of un-bathed idiots living in tents and cardboard boxes. Viewing the news clips of this gang brings to mind the plot of the movie Idiocracy, where an army private, Joe Bauers, an "average American", is selected by the Pentagon to be the guinea pig for a top-secret hibernation program. Forgotten, he awakes 500 years in the future only to discover a society so incredibly dumbed-down that he's easily the most intelligent person alive. I recommend that everyone watch this flick. Five years ago the movie was funny, now it’s just plain scary. Welcome to America 2011, welcome to Wall Street!

            One of the most common complaints of the Wall Street protester is the crushing debt of their college loans. Is it possible that any of these useful idiots of the left, apparently illiterate as demonstrated by the signs they carry; have been admitted to a college? Why would they not be demonstrating outside the Universities that have raised their tuitions at a rate of 900% since 1978! The banks only issued the loan and the money went to the University. The banks did not set the astronomical price of admission necessary to satisfy the greedy elites of academia.

If these goons were demonstrating outside of the Universities, Sallie Mae, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mack, Barney Frank or Chris Dodd’s home or the halls of Congress it all might make a bit of sense. From the interviews reported, it is obvious that these people do not have a clue to what their own government and the institutions of higher education have done to the prospects of their future.

 The left perpetuates a culture of entitlement and massive government while at the same time vilifying free market enterprise, capitalism and the private sector, then wonders, where are all the jobs? A jobless, poverty stricken, and government dependent society is inevitable; just what the elites in any socialist or communistic society desire; power through autocratic control. The framed diplomas and MBA’s hanging on the wall might as well be artwork in a jobless society of socialists.

The leftist elites, haggard old hippies like Francis Fox Pivens, Bill Ayers, Susan Sarandon and Rosanne Barr cheer on the hoards of over privileged idiots, advocating beheadings, murder and destruction of property. One would expect the media to give this crowd the same adjectives as applied to the Tea Party, right? Just kidding no longer does any thinking person consider the mainstream media a legitimate source of information.

The front page of the Palm Beach Post, Sunday, October 2, 2011 runs a story by Jeff Ostrowski entitled “For jobless, is college worthless?” The report was refreshing in the sense that it did not try to put a leftwing slant on the issue at hand. Kudos to Mr. Ostrowski’s professionalism; were the editors napping? I reread the entire article because I could not find the mandatory hatchet job to the back of a Republican like Rick Scott, Bush, West or The Tea Party, which is usually necessary to get your story printed by the Democrat editors of the Palm Beach Post.

Higher education, the domain of the far left, has increased the price of admission to a private college 900% from an average of $5,000 dollars in 1977 to the current average of $44,000! Inflation over this thirty-three year period has been 350%, which puts the rise in tuition at 650% above inflation! No other industry comes near to this type of gouging. The media rants against the rise in cost of health care and the evil doctors, hospitals and insurance companies whose cost has risen a fraction in comparison. Could their acquiescence to the obvious scam of higher education be due to the fact that the political and social leftist control the universities and use them to indoctrinate the nations youth into the Idiocracy of leftist ideals?

With the median annual family income at $49,000 and the average private college tuition at $44,000 per year, do the math, how can any middleclass person attend an elite university today?

Just as with Obama care, the left would answer, “That is why the government should pay for everyone’s higher education” when the intelligent question would be “How can the cost of educating a single person be $44,000 per year even as the institutions receive additional funds through grants and donations?”

This is the scam, the theft of a future generations wealth by the leftist elites that dominate academia. Tenured professors do little work and pull down huge salaries. Assistant professors stand before auditoriums full of students paying $44,000 per seat as the tenured elite tours the world devising far left environmental scams and anti-capitalist themes. Then the Democrats in government select these people, having no experience or concept of business, employing them as advisors and cabinet members empowered to regulate the private sector; suffocating the economy under the insane policies of leftist elites.

Mr. Ostrowski, your report, albeit good, only scratched the surface of the scam being instituted by academia’s elite left. Dig deeper and expose the corruption and the theft of our youth’s future by our nations Universities.

Frank Lloyd Wright:  “A mob is humanity going the wrong way.”

MAROONED ON CROCODILE ISLAND : Fun Friday

         Say hey kids; my tales of Florida are stories about the days when I was a young man and Florida was a wild, unsettled place full of screaming parrots, crazed wild monkeys, sharks and dangerous alligators. Your dad and uncles liked to hear about how I earned extra money wrestling alligators with the Seminole Indians.  Now I’ am to old for that kind of work, but maybe I can remember an adventure to write about.

            I remember a particular day that I will never forget! The day when I tangled with a huge salt-water crocodile de bull in the Florida Keys!

Marooned on Crocodile Island

Me marooned on Crocodile Island in 1973

     Many years ago when I first moved to Florida, I bought a small boat and began a small business; hauling supplies from the Florida mainland to our neighbors in the Bahama Islands and then returning to America with Bahamian exports.  While searching for a boat to purchase, I was fortunate to meet a Miami sea captain, who for forty years had transported watermelons from Homestead, Florida to Nassau, Bahama. He decided to retire and offered his boat named the Watermelon for sale.

The Watermelon was an old 26-foot wooden boat built in Nova Scotia, Canada by a master craftsman boat builder. She had a very wide beam of 11 feet, which made the craft appear to be oval shaped. With a small cuddy cabin forward, she was a very seaworthy boat and she could haul heavy loads safely. The boat had a diesel motor and a single mast that could hold a bit of sail. The crazy old captain had painted the hull green/yellow and the deck, cabin and sail red. Then he painted black dots all over the red deck and cabin making the entire boat look like a watermelon which had been cut in half and set afloat on the ocean. She was named 'The Watermelon".

 I was able to buy the Watermelon for a very low price. The old man demanded that anyone who bought his beloved boat must swear to keep her painted like a watermelon and not change her name. The tough, local, longshoremen and seamen of Miami did not want to be caught dead piloting that funny looking boat around the pirate-infested Caribbean Sea! I not having much money and being new to this business swallowed my pride and agreed to take care of the old mans beloved vessel. I paid the weather beaten old sea captain every penny I had and he happily accepted the pittance that amounted to only a fraction of the boats true value because he knew I would take care of her. I was now the new captain of the odd little Watermelon boat.

One lovely but hot summer day, on my return voyage from Nassau and only a few miles from my port of destination, my journey was unexpectedly interrupted. After rounding Islamorada and entering the Gulf of Mexico, the Watermelon experienced a sudden bump and a jolt causing her to shudder and slow to a stop.

“How could I have run aground out here”, I wondered as I peered over the side at the emerald green water? I knew that the Gulf was at least fifty feet deep at this location?

Confused, I walked to the stern and looked down at the propeller only to be startled by a big, green, beak, shaped head with beady eyes protruding from the surface and staring at me.

“What the heck!” I said as I jumped backward, scared near to death.

I calmed when I realized that the head belonged to a harmless, giant, green sea turtle. He was as unsettled from our open water encounter as I was.

His expression seemed to be asking me, “What did you do that for?”

“Sorry turtle!’ I yelled.

I was happy to see him dive below the surface and swim away unharmed flipping me off with his tail as he dove.

I returned to the helm of my little boat that was loaded at the bow with straw hats and piles of coconut seeds that the Bahamians had carved to resemble hairy, screaming, monkey heads. Tourists from the North, especially New Jersey and New York bought these Bahamian monkey head sculptures by the dozens. The cuddy cabin was filled to the brim with cases of Kalik ale destined for Sloppy Joes Pub in Key West.

 I put my boat into drive, throttling forward, but she did not move. I checked the stern again and this time noticed that my propeller was broken!

“Thanks a lot turtle!” I yelled at the ocean. “Your shell must be as hard as a rock! Thanks a lot!”

I had a spare prop but knew I could not safely make the repair out there in the Gulf of Mexico so I sat down to look at my navigation charts. Hoisting my sail in this dead calm would be a waste of time, but a strong westerly current was pushing my craft on a course that I calculated would pass near a small-uninhabited Island called Isle de la Crocodilians El Bull, which is the Spanish name that the explorer Ponce De Leon had given that place when his expedition first discovered it in the year 1493.  The English translation is roughly The Island of Bull Crocodiles.

 Huge, vicious Bull Crocodiles once inhabited this Island and several members of De Leon’s party were taken during the night and devoured when the giant reptiles attacked them as they slept. Even armed with muskets, the Spaniards were forced to retreat and flee the Island vowing never to return. On their charts, they marked the Island with the skull and crossbones symbol, a danger warning to all seafarers.

Man eating, mutant, crocodile bull alligators on Crocodile Island.

Comforted by the knowledge that years ago trappers had killed all the crocodiles, I planned to beach my boat on Crocodile Island where I could fix my propeller. My drift and wind calculations put my ETA at about three hours hence.  Since I was now at the mercy of the ocean current, I put on an oversized straw hat and sat down in a shady spot deciding to hydrate myself to combat the effect of the blazing sun.

I hydrated for about an hour, filling the transom with empty Kalik cans, before I fell asleep. Two hours into my nap I awoke to the sound of gentle surf and could see the lush tropical Island off my port beam. I grabbed the bowline and jumped into the waist deep water pulling the Watermelon to the beach. The sun was now setting and I knew that I would not be able to finish my prop repair before dark. With the cuddy cabin full of Kalik and the rest of the boat loaded with straw hats and carved monkey heads, I found no desirable place to sleep, so I grabbed my pup tent and went ashore to make camp.

The Island had an eerie calm; the place was creepy! I decided to string empty Kalik cans onto some fishing line and hang them just above the ground around the perimeter of my campsite. Thus, I had made a crude alarm system. If someone or something approached me during the night they would trip on the string of cans sounding a warning alarm.

Late that night, inside my tent, I awoke from a deep sleep to clinking sounds! The noise became frantic; something was tangled in my trip line. I dove head first from my tent and immediately saw a huge croc. Distracted, the big bull was thrashing its tail and snapping at the line of cans tangled around its body until it saw me! The laser like focus of his fire red eyes burned a hole into my soul.

“Oh my God! Help me!” I spoke out loud; as the reptile crouching low began to cautiously approach me in a choppy, marching gait.

I scrambled to my feet realizing that the clever beast had cut off my route of escape. He was standing between the Watermelon and me; I could not make a run for it! Forced to fight, I began to use wrestling moves that can be very effective on a common alligator.

I feigned to the left tossed a sand clod directly over its head and moved quickly to my right prepared to leap onto the beasts back while his head was turned. He was to fast, lighting fast, and he almost decapitated me! His jaws snapped shut with a loud clap as I spun in midair. Still hurtling through the air, I pulled my head down and away just in time. He only got a bite of my long hair and ripped some out right at the crown of my skull. I rolled over and over churning up beach sand as he chased me across the beach the snapping jaws inches from ending the battle, his evil red eyes glowing in the dim light of the night. Lucky for me, the string of Kalik cans entangling his body snagged a piece of driftwood momentarily distracting the croc; long enough for me to regain my feet.

With his massive head turned far to the right, he began biting at the cans. That’s when I made my move. Leaping through the air I delivered a Superman punch to the croc’s jaw and landed squarely on the beasts back. Now in full mount, I applied a figure four leg hold around his belly and sank my fingers under the boney orbital ridges of both eye sockets digging deep, grasping the leather covered supra orbital ridge above his eyeballs. With my death hold applied it was now time to ride that son of a gun!

Just like an alligator, the croc began twirling in a death spiral. His enormous weight almost crushed me each time I was beneath the monster, but I clung on for dear life. I knew he would eventually tire and he did. That’s when I released my grip from the eye sockets and began rubbing his belly with both hands right at the spot where a human would have a bellybutton.

The sleeper technique worked! He began to quiver as if having a seizure or maybe more like silent, hysterical laughter before going limp, asleep. I didn’t’ stop squeezing my figure four leg hold until I was absolutely certain that he was out cold!

I pushed the reptile off of me and hurriedly collected my equipment. Then I began to run for the boat. When I reached waters edge, I glanced over my shoulder and to my surprise saw the Croc running after me. He was gaining ground fast.

 That sleeper hold should have lasted 10 minutes at least! The clever reptile had played opossum to get me off his back. He was never sleeping! No man can out swim a crocodile and the tide had come up putting a good ten yards of water between the Watermelon and me. Running at top speed, I dropped all my gear in the surf and dove head first into the warm shimmering water, swimming fast. My experience told me I would never make it to the boat but I kept swimming faster than I had ever swum before expecting at any moment to feel the crushing pain of those treacherous jaws!

To my amazement I reached the boat and scrambled aboard Watermelon. The Crocodile of bull alligator was struggling in the surf. The string of Kalik cans still tangled around the creature had acted like a sea anchor and slowed him down. Once again my habit of over hydrating had been of great benefit.

I pulled the anchor and drifted off the Island into the Gulf waters. The stubborn beast tracked me for a bit but then gave up and returned to his home. Only then, once out of danger, did I notice the bleeding and the deep gash in my left arm. As I began to lose consciousness I recall thinking to my self, “What a faker that mutant species, crocodile of bull alligator was!”

I vowed to myself, “If I survive this wound, never again will I believe a Crock of Bull!”