EDDIE BUSTED ON WALL STREET
FUN FRIDAY REPORT
I went up to Wall Street to join the occupiers and ended up in the clink! We were having fun tubbing in the park with some rednecks from West Virginia until some old hillbilly was killed when his tub flipped.
My problems started when I joined a group of fellow intellectuals marching down to the New York Stock Exchange. We took turns riding the bronze bull outside the exchange while chanting Rick Santelli’s a tea bagging rich bastard! We tried to tip the bull over but our union organizers couldn’t get all the people to push from the same side. It was confusing and we all got exhausted pushing against each other, only managing to rock the bull back and forth. I was one of the last to collapse to the ground winded.
The police arrived but we escaped by running back to the park. I sat down under a shade tree to rest and began eating a lunch provided by George Soros and Media Matters. In the middle of my meal, while I changed the batteries in my M3 player, the Pigs grabbed me and handcuffed me!
“Why are you arresting me? I’m simply eating lunch and replacing batteries.” I asked.
“That’s the problem Punk! You’re charged with assault and battery!”
